Wrapping Windows

Suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my freezing cold, drafty, old ass windows!!! My house has a lot of charm. That is a polite way of saying it’s OLD!!! My windows still work on the peg and pulley system. As in push the peg in and lift or lower the window. Last year I should have covered them with plastic but I didn’t and unfortunately I could feel the chill in the air, especially on windy days, even with the storm windows closed! This year I decided to wrap them in window plastic. I’ve used this stuff once before in another old house I lived in, and let me tell you it is the biggest pain in the butt!!! I figured since I hadn’t used this product in several years, maybe they had made some improvements to it. After all, it is made by the same company who manufactures duct tape and we all know how much that stuff freakin‘ rocks, just ask MacGyver! Much to my dismay it still totally sucks! It’s the kind where you place the adhesive on the window frame, stick the plastic to it and then use a hair dryer to shrink wrap it tight. Sounds easy enough right, WRONG!!! It shrinks so tight that it pulls the adhesive right off the frame, along with the paint! So then you have to add more and it ends up turning into a big stuck together mess and I get all pissed off in the process. What fun for me! Last time I was so annoyed I ended up just duct taping the shit down…that will learn it just who’s boss! ME!

My other option is to apply the adhesive to the outside of the window frame. Great then I can’t adjust my blinds! They are either permanently open or closed all winter…umm yea, I think NOT! And switching my blinds from an inside to an outside mount is not an option either! So last night I pop in a Sex in the City DVD and start blowing the flaccid plastic into a taught smooth surface…sorry I just couldn’t resist!

I have 16 windows in my little house so this project is gonna take some time. I started with the 4 in my bedroom first. One by one I made my way around the room. I remove my valances, take down the blinds and then get the big ol‘ HELLO from a creepy squash bug! I hate these guys!!! They totally suck and completely destroyed my butternut squash plants this year! And as soon as the weather starts to turn they invade my humble abode making themselves right at home! They are chillin‘ in my drawers, hiding behind my blinds, creeping around in the rod pockets of my valences. The little bastards are everywhere and I can’t get rid of them! Seriously you have to kill them with radioactive isotopes! So with a quick flick of the finger I send them flying across the room and alert Jimi to their presence. Unfortunately he doesn’t like to eat them, just bat them around a bit. So I end up having to show them to the door reminding them that they live outside!

After about 2 painful hours I am finished and quite pleased with myself and my work. That is until I am laying in bed and I can hear the freakin‘ adhesive start to give way and the plastic starts pulling away from the frame. Son Of A Bee-Otch!!! I awake this morning to find not one but all four of my window followed suit!

So it was time to bring out the big dogs…duct tape to the rescue!! It’s ghetto but it works!



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2 responses to “Wrapping Windows

  1. I have no idea where they all come from but I sure don’t hesitate in telling em where to go!!! 🙂

  2. Too funny mama! We just started seeing squash bugs in the house too! What’s up with that? We’ve always had to deal with imposter lady bugs and wasps…but where are these squash bugs coming from???

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